The McGriddle Monster


McDonald’s is coming under fire after it was revealed that the McGriddle is not just a sandwich, but a genetically modified organism in of itself.

An agent at PETA obtained insider memos from the restaurant franchise. In them, McDonald’s explains it’s easier to use retroviruses to engineer a new species than to manufacture the actual sandwich.

The McGriddle, consisting of bacon, egg, and cheese on pancake buns with syrup was too time consuming to assemble for the breakfast rush: even more so for the all-day breakfast promotions.

Additionally, the franchise created the McGriddle creature to defecate Rolo, a caramel and chocolate candy used in their frappe confections.

As expected, PETA is up in arms: “This thing is a monstrosity. Clearly its mere existence is torture,” said spokesman Lindsey Loon. “It’s an abomination!”

McDonald’s fired back, claiming the creature contains at least 10% more natural components than its chicken nugget.