Trump, NATO Convene in Brussels

Trump at the International House Of Pancakes

We at received a partial transcript from the NATO meeting in Brussels, Belgium.

Specifically, their lunch break.

Some of them went to an IHOP.


“These bratwurst are awful,” said Dr. Hans-Dieter Lucas of Germany. “We should have gone to Denny’s.”

“They’re not bratwurst. IHOP doesn’t even carry those. They’re just breakfast sausages,” said Trump.

“I still think we should of went to Denny’s.”

“Me, too. At least we could have gotten decent frites,” said de Kerchove d’Exaerde, François of Belgium.

“What the hell are frites?” said Trump.

“He means fries,” said Canadian representative Kerry Buck.

“Fries? You mean home fries?” retorted Trump, “Why didn’t he just say ‘fries,’ then?”

“Not everyone speaks American English,” replied Buck.

“Whatever,” said Trump. “What about you, France? Are you going to order something, or just keep nursing that same cup of coffee for an hour?”

“I filled up on croquettes at the summit,” said Hélène Duchêne of France.

“We should get back anyhow,” said Trump. “Hey! We’ll take the check,” he said to the waitress.

“Okay. So we’re breaking this up in six ways,” said Trump, astutely holding the bill.

“But… I only got a coffee!?” said Duchêne.

“Everyone must pay their fair share. We agreed when we were making lunch reservations,” asserted Trump. “Even if the stenographer didn’t eat anything…Or say anything. We spent over 80 euros, which is probably over $100 American. We’re required to leave a tip, too.”

“Gratuity? I’d never,” said Duchêne.

“Why? Because you’re French?” asked Trump.

“No… I just think the service was terrible.”